She's JV to your varsity
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
