I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
