i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
