new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
