Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Sober January is a disaster.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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