In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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