You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
