hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
