If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
