I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
