How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cockslap morals
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
