my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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