I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
