my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
