I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
