his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
