i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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