it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
