im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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