I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
