Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
either way he was missing a nipple.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
