it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just want to make out with him forever
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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