the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
