like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
