How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
