it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
