so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
