and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
