perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
