So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
