I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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