yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
