I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
As shirtless as possible
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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