if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
