considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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