So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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