I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
