When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
