doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
