The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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