put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
