Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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