Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
