let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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