i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just found puke in my bra..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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