This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
