if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Your penis caused this!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
