I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
