so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
