possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry about my life...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
