I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
