You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have post one night stand depression
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