i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
