omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
