So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
