After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
