Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
