Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
