i just had sex bonerless
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
